Big Sexy
by Admiral T. DeVanto
Summary: Seira learns about strangely named hairspray, among other things.


Seira frowned as she examined the pantry. With a notepad, she wrote down what she could possibly need for her shopping trip. Tapping her pen against her notepad, she left the kitchen to check out the bathroom. She already knew that she needed body wash for herself; coconut scent because she loved that smell.

Stopping outside the bathroom door, Seira raised her hand and knocked. She had learned that it was best to wait and see if anyone was in there, even if the door was cracked open slightly.

When no one answered to her knock, she entered the bathroom. Checking to see if they had enough toilet paper, shampoo and body wash, she went about making her list. It looked like Tao had already stocked up on his hair gel, so she did not need to worry about him.

She crouched down on her knees, opening the drawers as she did so. With a satisfied hum, she noted with pleasure that Takeo and M21 had also stocked up on their necessary supplies.

As she was checking off her notepad, a flash of red caught her attention. She looked up and noticed a red bottle in the back of the drawer. With a small frown, she reached in the drawer and pulled out the red canister. She eyed the black labeling 'Big Sexy Hair.' Tilting her head, she gave the canister a slight shake and noted that it felt almost empty.

With a small shrug, she looked back in the drawer and noted that there were no other red canisters like it. Reaching for her notepad, Seira write the word 'Big Sexy Hair' on the paper before rising up from her crouched position. She took the hairspray with her, intending to find out who used it. If no one wanted the hairspray after all, considering the fact that it was stuffed in the back, than she saw no point in buying it.

As she walked to the living room, she considered who would possibly wear such hairspray. M21 did not seem like the type to worry about his hair. His hair was always a shaggy mess anyway. But maybe Takeo and Tao used the hairspray. But as far as Seira could tell, Takeo didn't style his hair, aside from putting it up in a messy ponytail. Now Tao on the other hand might use the hairspray for his odd hairstyle.

She entered the living room, and was pleased to see that the three boys in question were already there. Tao was sprawled on the couch with his computer on his lab. His feet was propped on Takeo's lap, but the sniper did not seem to mind. M21 was just entering with a cup of his tea.

Seira held up the red canister. "Who uses this?" she asked.

Everyone looked up at her question. M21 blinked, squinting as he tried to read the label. The werewolf shrugged. "Not me. I just brush and go."

Takeo frowned in confusion. "I don't use that particular brand." But his blue eyes were sparking with sudden interest as he looked at the hairspray.

Well, she kind of figured that those two wouldn't use this hairspray, which left her with one more obvious option. Seira turned her attention to Tao, who chuckled sheepishly.

"I used that for my hair just the other day," Tao answered. "But it's not my hairspray. Everything you see here is natural." With that, he ran a hand through his black hair, as if showing off his 'natural looks.'

Seira frowned in confusion, looking back at the canister in her hand. "Than who does?" she asked.

"Regis?" Tao asked.

Seira blinked. Did Regis use hairspray? That...never occurred to her!

M21 snorted in amusement. "Nah. The kids uses a new kind of hair gel to get his hair to stay all stiff and pointy."

That was a new bit of information for Seira.

"It's not yours?" Takeo asked, directing his question to Seira.

Seira shook her head. "No. I don't use hairspray." She liked how her hair stayed soft and how it flowed in the breeze. She saw no need to change her hairstyle, and she didn't see herself changing it in the future either.

M21 strode forward, frowning as he looked at the label once more. "What's up with the name 'Big Sexy Hair'?"

Tao smirked. "Because big sexy hair is the new hot thing."

"It's a woman's hairspray," M21 countered, turning to look at Tao. "Are you telling me you use a woman's hairspray?"

Tao's smirk only grew. "Hey, if it works, it works. I meant to try out something different, and I just saw that thing lying around."

"You better hope it wasn't Frankenstein's hairspray," Takeo warned. "You know how he likes his stuff."

"Hey, maybe it is the Boss' hairspray," M21 mused, examining the hairspray once more. "I mean, how else does he style his hair like that?"

Takeo blinked at M21's statement. "I always thought it was natural!"

"Natural, wavy blonde hair?" Tao asked with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah, no way. I betcha he perms his hair."

"Or sprays the heck out of it," M21 stated.

Tao shook his head. "His hair is as natural as Takeo's."

Takeo sputtered, straightening up in his seat. "What?"

"Oh come on!" Tao scoffed, rolling his eyes. "There's no way your hair is natural! I mean, purple? Really? You couldn't go with blue?"

"It's magenta!" Takeo exclaimed. As if to retaliate, he shoved Tao's feet off of his lap. "And what about your white streak in your hair? You telling me that's natural?"

"You look like the beatles band," M21 said with a grin.

Seira didn't even bother asking what the 'beatles band' was. Did humans watch performing beetles?

Tao glared. "Like you're one to talk. You look like an old man with your gray hair!"

M21 glared. "My hair is silver, thank you very much!"

"Not like Seira's! Seira rocks her silver hair!" Tao exclaimed.

Seira couldn't help it. She blushed at the compliment. "Thank you," she said hesitantly.

"Besides," Tao continued. "Out of the three of us, I am the only one who has a normal hairstyle."

"A dyed white streak in your hair is not natural," M21 contered.

Tao sniffed. "It makes me look dignified."

Takeo rolled his eyes. "How does a white streak in your mop of black hair make you look dignified?"

Tao folded his arms stubbornly. "Fine. Than I look sexy."

M21 snorted. "Yeah right."

Tao grinned. "Oh~? You don't think I look sexy? How about hot? Dashing?"

"How about jaunty?" M21 muttered.

"Oh! I like that one!" Tao exclaimed. He turned to look at Seira expectantly. "What do you think Miss Seira? What word best describes your favorite NO.1?"

Seira blinked, confused. She did not understand the words that were being spoken. She was familiar with the word 'dashing,' and she understood what 'hot' meant. Was Tao too hot in the house? Then why was he wearing such a long sleeved shirt?

"Should I lower the heat in here if you are hot?" she asked suddenly.

The three modified humans blinked, confused at her statement. Glances were traded as they all inwardly wondered if Seira was accidentally flirting. The thought was quickly dashed as they took in her innocent expression. Takeo was the first one to break the silence with an amused chuckle. "No, Miss Seira. Tao wants to know if you think he's attractive."

Seira cocked her head. "What does that have to do with him being hot?"

"Hot, sexy, and a bunch of other words are slang for 'good-looking' and 'handsome'," M21 explained.

Seira visibly brightened up. "Oh." Turning to address Tao, she inclined her head. "Then yes, Tao. Very handsome."

Tao laughed. "And as Takeo once said, you are a glamorous lady Miss Seira."

Takeo blushed from mortification. Let it be known that he never asked Tao to teach him a foreign language ever again.

"If humans wear this hairspray," Seira started, looking at the red container. "Then they will become more attractive?"

Takeo and Tao glanced at each other before simultaneously shrugging. "Sure," Tao said.

M21 sighed tiredly, handing the hairspray back to Seira. "Anyways, if this is the Boss's hairspray, you might want to avoid using it."

Seira accepted the hairspray back, gazing at it thoughtfully. "If it is the house owner's hairspray, than I will need to go buy some more. He's almost out of it."

Both M21 and Takeo stared at Tao, shocked. "You used the Boss's hairspray, even when he was low on stock?"

Tao paled. "I didn't know it was his to begin with!"

Seira just hummed as she headed out to perform her grocery run. This had been quite eventful for her. She learned a new thing about Regis using gel for his hair, and she had learned some new words as well!

* * *

 _Three Hours Later_

Frankenstein looked up as his Master approached him. Everyone was asleep, and the only ones who were up was the Noblesse and Frankenstein.

Through the bond, Frankenstein could tell that Raizel was troubled. "Master, can I help you?"

Raizel looked up, nodding slightly. "Frankenstein, I can't find my hairspray."

Frankenstein frowned. "Which one?"

"The one in the red container. 'Big Sexy Hair'."

* * *

 **A/N: No, I do not own 'Big Sexy Hair.'**


End file.
